Having (unexpectedly) extra time for myself might have been good for me after all... i've thought of many things (and did most of them so far) for a matter of a fortnight.

one thought of which stood out...

i shud keep my hapi thots to myself..
and to those who truly needs to know.

i want.. nay, i need my privacy back.

so i've decided to shut down this blog.

. . .at last, it's done.

Keep on thinking of happy thoughts all of you ; )

 





Today is the Feast of the Sacred Heart...so I'm told.
I thought that was celebrated every first Friday..

Anyway, I'll try to hear mass at one of my favorite churches here in Cebu, the Sacred Heart Church.

 

pained

sometimes i feel my world would collapse any moment.

these cycles of ups and downs of emotions aren't doing me any good at all.
and it's dreadfully taking a toll on me.

i'm so distracted minsan..

keeping myself busy and getting in touch with old friends do help.

ewan... maybe it's just not my day today.



still human after all...

i chanced upon a picture of a chinese friend kagabi.

beautiful... simply beautiful.

more often than not kasi, i put people i truly admire on such a high pedestal. i forget how these certain persons keep their feet on the ground...with smiles and all.



chubby capacitors and the blue screen of death

a few technical queries led me to a gloomy news.

my pc is failing on me day by day 'coz of chubby capacitors.

if i just let it be, these capacitors will pop.
that would mean i'd have to scrap the board of my pc.




i have two options before me:

a.) get a new motherboard (and a new casing for a bonus)
cost: lots of moolah... kachichiiiiiinnnnggggggg!!!

b) change the chubby capacitors with slim ones.
cost: probably around a day's worth of slavery.
major plus: very convenient and my wallet won't shriek.
downside: it has to be done with very skilled hands.



judge not and you shall not be judged

i can't help but be categorize people sometimes.
as a result, i become judgemental..

i don't know how my pretty insan and . . . . does it talaga.

i said it many times before
if i like/dislike the person, i like/dislike that person.

period.

until (s)he can prove to me i should feel otherwise, then i will.
that's just moi.

at times friendships were put to the test 'coz of this..
some crumbled.
some remained unwaivered and grew deeper.

i still maintain that this is for the best...for me at least.

this way, i get to really know who will remain after the dusts have settled will take a risk at fostering a lasting friendship with me.

there's really no pleasing everyone... trust me, there just isn't.

i don't mind having just a couple or a handful of friends.

it's not a popularity contest... not anymore for me.

...nerve wracking thoughts that i hide under a facade of calmness.

*sigh*

grant me the strength i need and the patience to persevere.



played

it's still a game after all, isn't it?

there's always that question that looms at the edge of my mind...

who's playing who?

certainly not me.



hala sige, kasab-an gyud ka karon...

a recent gathering of the tamboks made me realize something:
there are times when they see me as the para-kasaba.

it's not that i weild my authority (being the 2nd eldest of the group). i try not to stay in the limelight of the group.

i guess it started when i reprimanded giantbok about the foul language spurting from his mouth. nahilom tanan homan ato gyud.

maybe they see me as someone who is upfront and will, if necessary, confront any person/party. (flashback to the times we talked about the itchy and hairy situation.)

who had the guts to bring up the topic?
me.
(giantbok's reaction on this was: ngano imo man tawn na g.open na na topic bill... unya na lang if ko sa inyo atobangan.)

but in my defense, i must say that i did give them more than ample time to soften the blow to the involved party.

quite frankly, i hate confrontation.
i quiver at the thought of doing such.

i'd like to believe i'm reticent.

but if pushed to the edge, i will bite back.
kahit na i'm toothless, and has been de-clawed i will attempt to lash out on you hehehe

pero until provoked, i prefer to bite my tongue and behave.

some things are better left unsaid.
yep, some things are reeaaally better off unsaid.



a reason or two to rejoice

on a brighter note..

one of my closest and favorite tita (and godmother) from oz is coming over to visit.
i haven't seen her since i was a little tyke so this reunion means a lot to us.

also, tomorrow two very good friends of mine one more notch to their age. it's a celebration of friendship and the gift of life of these special persons. i pray i get to grow old and spend more birthdays with them.

at least i have something to look forward to this weekend.

 

Thy will, not mine

*humming to the tune of i could sing your love forever by jars of clay*

Put God in the center and everything else will follow.

One Sunday, I decided to attend the last holy mass in the Redemptorist Church. I wasn't able to hear any of the earlier masses since much of the day was spent in travelling back to Cebu. I had spent the weekend in faraway beach resort.

I was ready to go to the church when I realized that I wasn't wearing my favorite "snap-in" watch.

I went back to the apartment and rummaged through my stuffs. I turned most of my things upside down... in the bed, in my storage space, in my table, in the resting chair and even in the closet.

nada. zilch.

By this time, I was enraged at having not being able to find that small watch. Ever since my college years, I had developed a habit of not leaving my place without a hanky or two, my phone, the keys, my wallet and of course, a timepiece -- my watch. If I miss to bring any of these, I'd feel uncomfortable for the rest of the day.

Glancing at the wall clock in the living room, I realized that I'd be running late for the mass. I bit my tongue lest I'd hurl a curse at someone. To somehow funnel my rage, I just gritted my teeth and made loud growling sounds. (I find that funny now... I sounded like bonsai hehe)

I instructed our helper to look for the watch. I didn't care if everything turned topsy-turvy. I have decided that I won't be leaving till the watch is found. And I shall stand firm on that decision.

demet, I'm gonna miss the mass 'coz of that damn watch.

This was coming from a guy who just told himself less than an hour ago to set his priorities right and put God in the center for everything shall follow suit.

i'm sacrificing time w/ the Lord for a small watch. Such a trivial thing...

seconds ticking away...

Still, I didn't budge from my decision that I wouldn't leave till I was wearing the watch.

I must confess...
I am at my worse when I am angry.

Buti na lang I know na how to direct my anger....at anything inanimate.

My room was a mess afterwards.

okay.... calm down. breathe in. breathe out.

I thought of sleeping just to blow my anger away.

seconds turning to minutes...

I'm gonna miss the mass na talaga. and for what? a watch! darn...

While I was planning of going to a confession na lang later that week, I decided to clean the mess I've made. By then, I was breathing normally again. I was cleaning out the travelling bag I had used for the trip earlier that day when 'lo...

there it was the watch that played hide and seek with us.

I checked the clock again. There's still enough time... A few minutes later, I was rushing towards the church.

I got inside the doors of the church just in time to hear the readings.

i let out a sigh of relief...whew
thank you manong cab driver for taking the shortcut.

facts i've been enlightened to from that experience:

i can think straighter when i'm calm.

you're already halfway defeat if you entertain the thought of raising the white flag

pressure always get the best of me.

i must really love that watch. (it outlasted most of the wristwatches i have had since childhood years)

and 0ya..

Better late than never.

-oOoOoOo-

hmmm, thought or two...

pebbles, my phone, is one of the indespinsable devices I have. as i jokingly tell my friends... sumpay na sa ako tina-e. (uhmmm, roughly translated it means that my phone's attached to my organs.)

i have this tendency to get the most out of everything in my "toys". so i tinkered pebbles here and there. had to shell out some moolah so that i'll be able to upload and download stuffs to and from it.

i installed this messenger software that allows me to chat online...and i don't even have a status of I'm mobile or I'm on SMS.. nice.

it had me hooked for quite a while.

but wait, baka i'll be charged for every message or kilobyte i send... ayyyy

at first, i was really hesistant to chat with my online buddies.... a few days later and more verification, i found out that there was no charge at all.

yaahooooo!!

ding!!

a light bulb lit up.

what if all my friends' phones have the same capabilities as my phone tapos they'd install this software. then we'd all see each other in the messengers thru our phones. we don't need to spend money just to talk/text with each other. and aba, as an added bonus may smileys pa...

tihik gyud... hahahaha

of course only time will tell when these telecom conglomerates would find a way to make money from all this.

i heard not too long ago that they'd be attaching taxes na on sms.

woe to this guy who admits to being attached to his phone.

Update: Palace scraps tax on text (whoopeeee!!!). On the other hand, pebbles can't seem to use the messenger na.. (boooo...) there are two logical reasons that come to my mind for this. either my provider has caught up on the backdoor i've taken advantage of or the server/service for the software i'm using is down. i'm hoping it's the later.

Update on update:
called the help desk of the provider. the voice on the other line had all the super safe answers but she wasn't sufficiently knowledgeable in the technical matters i inquired.

and i thought they had all the answers.
tsk tsk.

i guess i'll have to experiment more to make pebbles use the IMs again. still have an idea or two left pa naman so okay lang.

-oOoOoOo-

vanedoso....not

i always tell myself that those who are rich (well at least most siguro) aren't rich because they earn tons of money every second of the day.

as i've seen from my friends who are more fortunate than i am, napansin ko that they are able to enjoy more luxuries than most of us because they manage their finances well. other than that, we are all in the same playing field. of course, hindsight is always a 20-20 vision.

i also have that same line of thinking in terms of beauty. people aren't necessarily beautiful than the rest 'coz they just can't help it. yeah yeah, the genes is a major factor but they didn't get that smooth almost creamlike (to the point it's like the surface of a mannequin na) skin of theirs just by lying around.

as one of the networks i frequent tell me, be in the know. know what your body wants and needs.

yes i think they have those glowing plastic-like appearance because they know how to take care of their bodies.

ever always trying to find ways to improve myself, i tapped on sexy dear and her expertise on the field of beauty. thanks nga pala dear for all those free advices on cosmetics and other beauty chuuchuus ; )

you have also given me one more reason to love my favorite drink, milk.

hope we'll accomplish our mission of you becoming sexier and me transforming my physique to the likes of you know who... *wink wink* hehehe

 






i too am glad we talked about the things that needed to be talked about, hapi thot.

we'll see na lang...

yeah, i guess we will.



Visitor 257
i went to see the doc last friday for the annual med checkup.

i showed up early at the clinic.
but 'twas over in an hour or so lang.

i'm glad that my chart is filled with negative signs.
i believe that is a good thing.
results are due tom.
i just hope nothing abnormal comes up.

that's one task i am happy to cross off my to-do list.
next on my list: a date with the fil-chi dentist.



"cured"
since early natapos yung med checkup ko,
i was able to check a new spot that a friend recommended.

when i got there,
i found out that i was the first client for the day.
this discovery put a smile on my face.
i really hate it when they make me wait.

another discovery put a bigger smile on my face...
the prices were more than reasonable.

i was on tihik mode but i just couldn't help indulging.
resist temptation.. resist temptation..

i finally gave in.
i had myself treated to several of their services.

so this is why my mom, titas and female friends spend a considerable time at the salons.

i took a long look at my nails.... pinkish.
i had to tell the girlinblue to lighten it.
i didn't want anyone noticing i had "cured" nails.
ahihihihi

i can hear someone say to me right now: "ang arte..

or a pretty cuzn mumble... vanedoso ^^,

yeah yeah... but i deserve a treat every now and then ;p

an hour or so later i was homebound...feeling really pampered.



tamboink headed to the south of cebu

the tamboks mapped out a route to the white sands.

all boks marked an X on panagsama beach of moalboal.

apparently, not all the boks could make it.

these days, it's a treat to see most if not all of the tamboks congregate to a single spot. it's getting to be a rare treat for all of us but we oinked each other every now and then. plans to meet at least once a month at a prospective new tambayan are on the works.

cutiebok: kita ta bus terminal nila mah2x. saturday, 5:30. ang ma.late biyaan.

on the night before we were set to leave, cutiebok reminded us all ulit:
cutiebok: ppl kahibaw naman mo noh? tom 530. librando terminal. plz reply to confirm.
melonbok: yeah... ang ma-late, biyaan!! nyahahahaha

saturday, 5:31 am
(slowly got up from bed)
wat time is it na ba?
(looks at the watch)
shucks! i knew this would happen!! demet...

the next 10 seconds or so was spent running to and fro the living room... panicking. what to do? what to do? i haven't packed a single thing pa!!!

i heard an echo...
... ang ma-late, biyaan!! nyahahahaha

i calmed down just long enough to call cutiebok.
melonbok: dee, bag.o pa ko mata... apas na lang ko.
cutiebok: asa ka karon?
melonbok: naa pa ko sa amo. wala pa ko ka.pack
cutiebok: ngee, adto ila hannah karon dayon. pagdali

calling bookie_boks...
hi! this is patrick garcia. just hold on i'll go get her.
melonbok: helo patrick!! hehehe
bookie_boks: huh?
melonbok: han, asa ka karon?.
bookie_boks: naa pa ko sa amo.
melonbok: okay, huwata ko. anha ko in 5-10 mins
bookie_boks: okayyy...

woke up the helper to help me pack the bags.
i wanted to splash water to her face just to wake her up.

moments later...
i had in my bag everything i needed could carry in the record breaking 5 minutes or less packing. that was a new personal best. of course, i had help.

guess who got left behind in the bus?

yes, you're right... certainly not i.
woohooo...!!

on the way there, gOL told me that we'd be passing by barrio baho (stinky barrio). when we got there. pheyewww

gOL: cge lang, isa ra bitaw ka barrio ta dili mag-istoryahanay

that had us laughing even though we were covering our noses.



panagsama, second time around

when we got there, i spent most of the day avoiding the sun.
allergic yung araw sa akin. hehehe

old fact:
average dose of sunshine + me = burnt mix.

newly discovered fact:
"cured" nails + sand + seawater = not exactly a good mix.

by late afternoon, the water was too inviting to resist.
well, a little exercise wouldn't hurt.

i wonder if there are other ways to enjoy the waters here..
*light bulb litting up*
aahhhh.... snorkeling!!

babybok and i thought of going scuba diving at first.

after a short inquiry, i decided that we opt for the cheaper alternative, snorkeling... you see, a single dive could cost our wallets 25 bucks...in dollars of course. *cough cough* if there's one thing the boks are known for... it's for their katihikan. yes we are laagan pero super tihik.

there weren't really anything much in the shores of panagsama beach that made it stand out from the beaches i've been. however, the underworld wonders just a few meters away from the shoreline were totally a different thing.

there were corals in abundance. everywhere i looked, the sea was teeming with marine life. saw many relatives and neighbors of nemo and dorry. saw a fish here and there... more cute fishes hovering over the corals.

what frightened me was that there was this underwater cliff or what they call kantil. just before that would be these myriad of corals, anemones, and fishes of either flourescent or different shades of pastel colors. beyond that was this deep blue expanse of watery space. it's really deep and it gets bluer and darker the further you swim away from the kantil. i tried venturing once just to feed my curiousity. i was rewarded by a sight of these fellas. i was also able to spot some light colored eels with dark stripes bobbing their heads. i was a bit apprehensive walking around while these guys stare at me with their bulging eyes as if waiting for a chance to pounce on my tender feet/legs.

i really wanted to stay a little longer. but somehow, i couldn't shake off what i read the day before about the marine creatures around these places. sure corals and harmless fishes were plentiful but *gulp* shark sightings?? paranoia creeps unto me everytime i dare myself to go to the edge of the kantil. i kept looking to my left and my right and then the dark blue waters under me. my mind was playing games on me. well, better safe than going home with missing chunks of my flesh.

before we headed off the next day, ciodens and i took a quick dip and see how the fishes play early in the morning. snorkeling in the afternoon the day before was fun, safe but shady. snorkeling in the morning was a more breathtaking experience for us. the effect of the sunshine hitting the sea and the way the light seems to play with the underwater life was such a pleasure to our eyes. the deep blue waters weren't as frightening. that of course didn't brush the two words off my head -- shark sightings.

as if that wasn't enough, we had to tackle the stings of little jellyfish that were like floating land water mines. they may have been small but they compensated with their number. they sure can pack a whack to those transparent whip of theirs.

note: we didn't have an underwater cam w/ us. the images are taken from here. i only took the pics which i can relate to... those that i have actually seen during our adventure there.



duty calls... cebu beckons us home

our stay in panagsama was really one for the tamboks' memory book. sayang lang nga not everyone could be there.

the bus we rode home reminded my bus seatmate and me of our ed tour. ahhh, stretch the legs on the middle seat...

















unsa man 'to?

kaakbay dy's reaction upon viewing this blog: unsa man 'to? ka-igat... pa.tagalog2x pa.

napatawa talaga ako... igat gyud? hahaha

 stretching my legs

we climbed a bukid to do just that.

last week, we took a much needed break.
i felt kasi i was left doing things in a rut for the past weeks.

the short stay at the country club did us all well.

though the pool was inviting i spent more time here and here.

i felt like jogging afterwards but my weekly trip to the sports center was cut short since one of the insiks of the chinese circle visited us. naturally, we all came together. blame it to lyn2x's charms, i got dragged to the movie theatre to watch harry potter. well at least the movie was interesting enough to keep me awake.



Borderless World

this girl reminded me of lady rock, a friend of mine from college.

they may have their physical similarities but hanggang doon lang iyon. the lady rock i know is supppeeeeerrrr bisdak!! hahaha

we had a late night chitchat weeks ago.
aba, marunong na palang magsalita ng tagalog si lady rock ha...

hmmm... chinitang tagala.

who would have thought she'd turn out like that? *huge grin*

a friend emailed me the piece, Borderless World, weeks ago. i found it hu-hum. nothing new there really. then i chanced upon her being interviewed in a news channel. i didn't realize she was that young pala. and so articulate. boy, was i blown away.

i was once a frustrated debater when i was still in high school.
it's not easy but i really loved the challenge back then.

so my kudos to patricia evangelista for winning.

you still remind me of lady rock though.

yeah, the lady rock who pesters me for answers during our speech class exams!! how utterly amusing is that huh? hahaha



stretching my legs even more...

this weekend all tambok roads lead to panagsama beach.

i hear cutiebok's treating the barakada.
i'm excited to see the boks get together again.

i think i have to get back earlier than the rest of the gang.

duty calls.

but i plan to relish every moment there.

hmm... a little diving and snorkeling is in mind.

i hear the sunset there is also beautiful.



uhhmm, say what?

"brain lightnings", as some would put it, travel at an incredible speed. 'yun lang nga they travel so fast that my fingers can't keep up with my train of thoughts. if i had a penny for every fascinating thought i missed out to write, i'd be a gazillionaire na siguro.

i started noticing this when i write something passionate and i tend to skip words while writing. my brain assumes the words are there and the sentences are complete. but when i read it again, i find out i was speaking insik. i'm sure nahalata mo rin yan hapi thot ; )

speaking chinese na naman...



common and parang siopao

not too long ago, the boks celebrated noeme's despideda gathering.

on my way there, may nakasabay akong (mestizang insik na) girl.
i was pleasantly surprised when she asked if i was the brother of i.forgot.the.name.she.mentioned.

i said no.

she apologized.

i told her 'twas okay... it happens a lot to me and i joked that common kasi face ko.. (i mean there's even a mini-bill in tc right now. no, really i'm not kidding...)

sexy dear and i recently talked about being chubby and all.
she's also having the same prob (problema ba?) w/ chubbykins & i.

the problem being that her face is getting round na raw.

kagaya namin ni chubbykins... parang siopao na!! hahaha

i also received an sms from chama.
congrats kay nilingin na imong nawng!! nakakita ko sa pics ninyo sa fon ni in2x.

i dunno if i should be glad or not hehe maybe i'm just not that photogenic.

i noticed my face seems to enlarge itself when being photographed.
lalo na 'pag it's taken by pebbles.
tsk tsk...

my tita contradicted this naman...
she thinks i got skinnier raw like pretty insan.
oh well...

gotta have more midnight snacks soon . . . nyahahahaha



miles away...:

the itchy project is on hold... awaiting further reply.
plan b is on its first phase.
i just don't want to sit back and wait.
these are uncertain times.

as for the cheeky project...
well, things are doing pretty well...i think.
things weren't able to push thru for this month.
maybe it's better that way.

i know you might be singing Oleta Adams' Get Here.

You can reach me by railway, you can reach me by trailway
You can reach me on an airplane, you can reach me w/ your mind
You can reach me by caravan, cross the desert like an Arab man
I don't care how you get here, just - get here if you can

You can reach me by sail boat, climb a tree and swing rope to rope
Take a sled and slide down the slope, into these arms of mine
You can jump on a speedy colt, cross the border in a blaze of hope
I don't care how you get here, just - get here if you can

There are hills and mountains between us
Always something to get over
If I had my way, surely you would be closer
I need you closer

You can windsurf into my life, take me up on a carpet ride
You can make it in a big balloon, but you better make it soon
You can reach me by caravan, cross the desert like an Arab man
I don't care how you get here, just - get here if you can

I don't care how you get here, just -- get here if - you can.

soon my dear... soon.
just have a little faith in me.



Quote of the Week:

hapi thot: make u miss me muna...

u just love torturing me, don't you? ;p
until now, i still find ur "joke" weird.. ^^,

 *sigh*
got slapped by reality na naman.

these words from barbie's cradle are keeping me sober somehow...

i'm keepin my affair in a book
so this is how a villain it feels
they're running seasons in my chest
and i'm only to keep them

maybe its not true
love on the tv
just like we imagine it
and its so hard to do
when there's always some distraction
a shiny red balloon
that spoils everything

i'm keepin my affair in a book
such practical and harmless vice
but i'm feelin' it could end up painfully
and the tv should apologize

i'm keepin my affair in a book
my long and lonely compromise
how can you live like that my dear
well we do

...and its so hard to do
when there's always some distraction

it spoils everything.